Rant: Roommates

Yeah yeah, ranting again. I am allowed to rant so early into the week because 1. It's Monday, and 2. I have a popcorn kernel stuck in my tooth and no floss to get it out with. MY LIFE IS AN ENDLESS LOOP OF PAIN AND MISERY AND SUFFERING.

Moving on.

So today I'm going to bitch my face off complain like a whiny brat talk about my roommates. Now, before I delve deep into the dirty stuff (mind out of the gutter) I'll explain the situation. Currently I'm living with two twenty-something males, both of which are enrolled in university and have jobs that pay decently well. To protect anonymity we'll call them Thing 1 and Thing 2, both because I love Dr. Seuss and I call them that already.



Thing 1 is, well, Craig. As you know he is who helped me relocate my arse out here, so already I can't complain much about him. He's pretty responsible and has a...decent head on his shoulders. Sometimes he does things that most people would find senseless and impulsive (aka trying to justify purchasing $30 worth of candy at the Bulk Barn immediately after Halloween because "he had to") but other than that (and his periodically negative attitude) he's a well-rounded guy. He shoveled out my car from beneath a morbidly obese snow demon without me asking him to do so. I gave him cookies in return. Good roommate relationship, in my opinion. Tit for tat. Hehe, I said tit.

Now, onto Thing 2. Thing 2 is...special. Thing 2 is your typical young adult male: a little on the lazy side, loves to play his guitar at obscene hours in the day (beating my alarm by 20 minutes on some mornings) and enjoys the odd bong hit. Or two. Or seven. Do I condone him for such? Not at all. I'll get to that later.

So, what's there to rant about you say? Well, Thing 2 is getting on mine and Craig's nerves as of late. The main and top issue that needs improvement is chores, as more often than not a certain someone (me) has been left to handle most of the household responsibilities. Granted, Craig has been pitching in a lot more these days, so that's fine and dandy.

Thing 2 on the other hand? Well, let me give you a summarized version of a typical day in the life of an annoying pothead:

10pm: Rise and shine, kiddo! It's time to get ready for work (graveyeard shift). Smoke a bowl, have a half-assed shower and eat whatever's in the fridge before rushing out the door.

3am: Lunch break! Time to run home, have a hearty bong hit and rush back to work.

7am: Ah, good to be home! Time to kick your feet up, have a beer and play some guitar. What's that, your roommates are telling you they need to sleep? FUCK 'EM! You live here, you pay your end of the rent, do whatever the hell you want. Oh, and play some NHL 13 while you're at it. And suck at it. WHO CARES, YOU'RE AWESOME!

9am: Well that was a fun after-work activity, but it's time to hit the sack. Besides, you have to be up and at 'em again in 11 hours! You really need some shut eye. Night night!

Keep in mind, for days with classes bump up the sleep time from 9am to 12pm. Days he is off, I don't even know because he's usually locked in his room or something. What I do know is that he DOESN'T DO SHIT.

But yeah, notice how I didn't allot any time for cleaning up around the house? This is why I'm ranting. Who needs 11-12 hours sleep a day? What is so damn difficult about taking 30 minutes out of your "busy" day to do the dishes, sweep the floor or fold a frigging towel or two?

That's not even the worst part. Craig decided to approach him on the subject of dishes being left unwashed, and what does he say?

"Oh, I do dishes all the time."

NO YOU DON'T YOU LAZY GIT. YOU PUT LEFTOVER SPAGHETTI IN THE SINK LIKE IT'S YOUR JOB AND YOU COMPLAIN AT ME WHEN THINGS AREN'T DONE AROUND THE HOUSE. YOU ALSO WASTE ENERGY BY LEAVING THE TV ON AFTER YOU'RE FINISHED PLAYING WHAT-THE-FUCK-EVER ON YOUR XBOX AND SLEEP ON THE SOFA LIKE A BUM. SERIOUSLY DO YOU HATE TREES OR SOMETHING? GO FUCK A CAMEL CAUSE IT HAS MORE HUMPS THAN YOU COULD-

Sorry, that was a tad out of line for me. Apologies.

As I was bitching saying, there's no rational explanation for his behaviour. It has gotten to the point where Craig and I have scheduled a house meeting this Sunday to lay down some issues and see what can be done about them. Oh, did I mention he rescheduled it to next Sunday?

Seriously, I could go on for days about all the things he does (or doesn't do) that makes him an irritating roommate. I think a few things bother me more than others. For example, Craig had set up a smoking room in the rear entrance for our friends to smoke in (our house apart from that back foyer is non-smoking) Thing 2 is against the idea because the room "reeks" of smoke, so what does he do? He goes out on the FRONT PORCH to take his bong hits. RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR NEIGHBOURHOOD. THERE ARE CHILDREN RUNNING AROUND, DAMMIT.

The list could go on and on.

Am I being irrational, or is this justified? I mean sure, people have their days where they're completely swamped with work and school, but this is everyday behaviour, even on his days off. And whenever he invites company over, he apologizes for "the mess" (our house is never something considered messy) as if it's our fault, and not his. I don't know what to do.

One thing's for sure; I can't wait to live on my own.

0 comments:

Post a Comment